Finding my voice...again

I've started this blog as a beginning to try and start healing through music and find the voice that once was mine but somewhere along the way I have lost. I don't have the energy or the emotional bandwidth at this point to write my whole story (yet), but will in time, and my prayer is that God uses this process of writing and singing to help heal the places that have long been broken. I was very hesitant to share this experience in a public place for multiple reasons, but decided that having the courage to risk sharing beyond just with God is actually a big part of that healing process (especially the music part). So I'm just going to start. I will be posting all sorts of songs, poems, and other media that have been meaningful to me. These first two songs are the paradox of the struggle that has been going on in my heart for a long time and though I won't go into detail, will probably be self-explanatory. The first is called Green Finch and Linnet Bird (a song i sung in college). 

Green finch and linnet bird
Nightingale, blackbird
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate
Sitting in cages
Never taking wing?

Outside the sky waits
Beckoning, beckoning
Just beyond the bars
How can you remain
Staring at the rain
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?

Green finch and linnet bird
Nightingale, blackbird
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?

Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?

Ringdove and robinet
Is it for wages
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages
Singing when you're told?

My cage has many rooms
Damask and dark
Nothing there sings
Not even my lark
Larks never will, you know
When they're captive
Teach me to be more adaptive
Green finch and linnet bird
Nightingale, blackbird
Teach me how to sing
If I cannot fly
Let me sing