I Will Sing: 2020

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Finding my voice...again

I've started this blog as a beginning to try and start healing through music and find the voice that once was mine but somewhere along the way I have lost. I don't have the energy or the emotional bandwidth at this point to write my whole story (yet), but will in time, and my prayer is that God uses this process of writing and singing to help heal the places that have long been broken. I was very hesitant to share this experience in a public place for multiple reasons, but decided that having the courage to risk sharing beyond just with God is actually a big part of that healing process (especially the music part). So I'm just going to start. I will be posting all sorts of songs, poems, and other media that have been meaningful to me. These first two songs are the paradox of the struggle that has been going on in my heart for a long time and though I won't go into detail, will probably be self-explanatory. The first is called Green Finch and Linnet Bird (a song i sung in college).

Green finch and linnet birdNightingale, blackbirdHow is it you sing?How can you jubilateSitting in cagesNever taking wing?

Outside the sky waitsBeckoning, beckoningJust beyond the barsHow can you remainStaring at the rainMaddened by the stars?How is it you singAnything?How is it you sing?

Green finch and linnet birdNightingale, blackbirdHow is it you sing?Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?Are you discussing or fussingOr simply dreaming?

Are you crowing?Are you screaming?

Ringdove and robinetIs it for wagesSinging to be sold?Have you decided it'sSafer in cagesSinging when you're told?

My cage has many roomsDamask and darkNothing there singsNot even my larkLarks never will, you knowWhen they're captiveTeach me to be more adaptiveGreen finch and linnet birdNightingale, blackbirdTeach me how to singIf I cannot flyLet me sing

Monday, March 2, 2020

Winter 2019

Jane and William,

These past few months have been full of tiny adventures, and now that William is eating solid foods like a champ, we have started venturing out a lot more and going all sorts of places. We got to the zoo a lot and right now Jane your favorite is feeding the giraffes. William, I carry you on my back and you are just happy to look around and have a good view. We also like going to the nature store and trading in treasures to collect point to buy cool stuff later. We haven't purchased anything yet, but I have a feeling you will end up with some pretty sweet prizes with the amount of points you are accumulating. We have also started going on lots of hikes in the woods, and Jane you are getting so good at navigating the trails gaining confidence with steep hills, climbing rocks, and being the leader on the path. We have been playing lots of games (board games, car games, mind games, and silly games). Jane, your mind is exploding and it's so fun to see you problem solving and figuring things out. You are so curious about life and always have more questions and ask us to explain things. Lately we have been going through a hymn or worship song in the morning with very complicated words and you want me to explain each hard word and tell you what they are about. We often dance in the mornings to our "good morning" playlist, and my favorite is when we catch a glorious sunrise coming in through the breakfast nook windows. I have made a habit of closing my eyes, facing the sun with the music blaring, and dancing. I'm so excited to teach you to savor those small moments with God and let beauty and goodness fill your hearts

Music we are listening to: The specific playlists I have made for each time of the day. I have a feeling that when people remember me, one of the phrases that will come to mind is "I have playlist for that". I'm so excited about sharing so much music with you and building the soundtrack of your childhoods. Jane....you are getting way too smart at giving commands to Alexa, and one of these days a pallet of cookies is going to show up on our doorstep because you told Alexa to do it when we weren't looking. William is loving all of it, and dances to the beat along with music. He does this really funny pop with his chest and really seems to be a born dancer.